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 A Family Mediation Practice Serving

Separating Couples in Southern California 

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Welcome to the California Divorce Peacemaking Blog™!

This Blog aims to make information available about California Mediation practices, to introduce you to the Team of professional Mediators who comprise Desert Family Mediation Services (DFMS), and to describe our peacemaking styles and vision. 

We use the word "peacemaking" not to imply some new agey concept but instead to emphasize the core values that mediation uniquely offers: For us the term speaks to a dedicated and focused practice of facilitating resolutions between people who hold opposing views about their otherwise shared history and what those divergent experiences mean in a practical sense to each of them in moving forward in their lives.  

Conflict causes us all to become stuck, and yet conflict offers each of us the opportunity to grow. Peacemaking explores this tension in what is, hopefully, a masterful way and aspires to mid-wife a transition to a richer and more fulfilling future. It is grounded in an acknowledgment and respect for the interdependence that binds us all. 

The members of DFMS believe that the relationships between couples are ground zero for the quality of all our lives, and that on a day to day basis these struggles define our experiences. This connectedness plays out in very important real life ways often involving power, property, money, and children. Our belief is that most family law disputes can be successfully mediated, and that the mediation alternative carries important benefits over traditional Court supervised divorce and domestic partnership dissolutions. At the same time, mediation is not appropriate for everybody. 

If you have specific legal questions for need more information about any legal topic, try Thurman Arnold's California Family Law Blog and use the website search engine at the top of any page!

Each Partner Holds The Key to the Solution for Themselves and the Other

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Contact Desert Family Mediation Services℠ Today!

We Mediate Divorce, Dissolution, Custody, Support and
Property Division Matters Within the Desert Cities Surrounding Palm Springs, and Within Riverside and San Bernardino Counties  

Peacemaking Blog

DFMS Mediator Thurman Arnold, III, Receives Special Recognition for Contributions to the Riverside Courts' Family Law Mediation Program!

We are pleased and honored to share the news of some special recognition that was recently given to DFMS Mediator, Thurman W. Arnold, III, for his efforts in helping to establish the new Riverside ...
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"Growing Through Divorce" Support Group Begins In June, 2012!

Palm Springs Divorce Recovery Group Begins June, 2012 Marriage Counselor/Divorce Coach, Bev Jewell, is offering another 6 week "Growing Through Divorce™" support group beginning the first week of ...
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Riverside County Family Law Mediation Panel Launches on May 3, 2012

Divorce and Family Law Mediations, Riverside County, California The Riverside County Superior Court's Family Law Mediation Panel website profiles were published today. We are pleased to report that ...
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Announcing WEBSITE DESIGN and SEO For Mediators By Thurman Arnold

Website Design, Development and Optimization for Divorce and Family Law Mediation This is written to anyone who is a mediator, or who is beginning to make the commitment to establish a mediation ...
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MEDIATION Is the Sane Alternative - But Only If You Value Your FAMILY And Your Money!

DFMS Is Now (Almost) 18 Months Old ! I want to compliment and honor those of you who have seen the terrible destruction and waste that is characteristic of family court litigation, and who have been ...
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LITIGATION Verses MEDIATION: ADVERSARY REALITIES Worth Considering Before Pulling the Trigger

Litigation Is The Default Strategy For Adjudicating Conflict Some people believe that mediators don't hold the American legal system or the judges who play their role within it in high regard. That ...
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Client SANCTIONED When Her Lawyer DISCLOSED INFORMATION That VIOLATED the MEDIATION PRIVILEGE

What Marriage of Davenport Means for Mediation Family law mediators and collaborative attorneys, and those attorneys who decry the shameless lack of ethics on the part of some high conflict divorce ...
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2011 Green Gulch Mediation Training Redoux!

"Mediation Intensive Training" at Green Gulch - the 2011 Redoux! Together with Bev Jewell, a mental health professional with whom I have co-mediated cases at my mediation center in Palm ...
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Can You Just HELP Us with a STIPULATED AGREEMENT and How Much Might It COST?

Q. My husband and I are planning a divorce. We read some of your blogs about mediation thank you for making so much information available. We have pretty much agreed how to divide our property. ...
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How Might We Work With STRONGLY FELT EMOTIONS That Surface During Mediation?

As is to be expected, people in the midst of relationship transition are experiencing a deep range of emotions that include varying levels of personal distress. For some these are manageable when ...
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GENDER DIFFERENCES and the CO-MEDIATION SOLUTION

While we wouldn't say that co-mediating your dissolution or custody matter is necessarily superior to engaging a sole mediator, we find that there are benefits to co-mediation that particularly assist ...
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Mediation Is Not Appropriate For Everyone: It is a VOLUNTARY PROCESS With Boundaries

Mediation is a difficult and beautiful dance. People arrive with deeply held and heartfelt concerns, and they will continue to hold these core values no matter what occurs. It is not for the mediator ...
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2011 AMENDMENTS to the FAMILY CODE: MEDIATION Becomes Even MORE ECONOMIC

A disaster may be looming in 2011 for some of the California family law disputants who don't realize they are free to opt out of the litigation experience by employing mediation or collaborative law ...
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BENEFITS of MEDIATION Include Receiving ALL RELEVANT INFORMATION

In the typical experience of divorce or partnership dissolution, parties may or may not make use of legal professionals. Estimates are that over 60% of people don't hire lawyers or even consult with ...
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Conflict Patterns Become HARD-WIRED. Mediation Can Help Parties to RE-WIRE.

There is a funny bit of nonfiction that has been making its rounds through internet emails. I think it illustrates a scientific basis why mediation may make sense for people who are unwinding their ...
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Preserving AUTONOMY While Supporting MUTUALITY

Is mediation the best choice for you? Will the other person in your life participate at all, or participate fairly? We can't answer those questions. We can speak to how mediation might work for you ...
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Mediator THURMAN ARNOLD III Recognized By California State Board of Specialization!

We are pleased to announce that Attorney and DFMS Mediator Thurman W. Arnold III has received notice from the California Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California that he officially ...
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Understanding CONFLICT PATTERNS and WHY TO MEDIATE

One reason why people become "stuck" is that they develop patterns of dealing with conflict, over time, with their spouses, domestic partners, employers, children, inlaws, and just about everybody ...
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DO WE NEED MEDIATION If My Spouse and I Know Exactly What We Want to Do?

Q. So I am wondering - why would we need mediation if my wife and I already know and are agreed about how to divide our stuff? I am thinking we should have a cheap divorce. A. You may not need ...
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Mediation As the First Choice for SAME-SEX Couples

We believe that mediation serves same sex couples particularly well. It doesn't matter whether you are a domestic partner or one of the 14,000 couples that married during the window that existed from ...
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How Confidential is "CONFIDENTIAL" MEDIATION?

Q. One of reasons why I am considering mediation is that that I've heard it is confidential. It is really important to me and my family that our personal matters not become public. How confidential is ...
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ABA Standards - "ENTERING MEDIATION"

The 2000 American Bar Association Model Standards for Mediation, and indeed the standards for all family law mediation, are based upon the principle of "informed consent." While once known as a ...
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American Bar Association Model Standards - CHOOSING A MEDIATOR

The American Bar Association's Model Standards (2000) define mediation and affirm its importance and core values that can help guide consumers in choosing their mediator. At DFMS we subscribe to these ...
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Why We Won't TALK ABOUT YOUR CASE When You INITIALLY CALL

The question of mediators talking to one party in the absence of the other can come up in a variety of contexts. This Blog discusses initial contacts from one party, often when they are simply seeking ...
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Mediate.com Publishes New Article by Thurman W. Arnold III

We are pleased to announce that Mediate.com, the largest information source for all types of mediation in the country, has recently published an article by Thurman W. Arnold entitled "The Peacemaking ...
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