Divorce and Family Law Mediator, Thurman W. Arnold, CFLS

Riverside County Certified Family Law Specialist
State Bar of California, Board of Legal Specialization

225 S. Civic Drive, Suite 1-2
Palm Springs, CA  92262
(760)323-7455

Email:  DFMSinfo@verizon.net

Law has been the Arnold family tradition for five generations. I was raised believing that lawyers answered the highest calling in protecting the under-empowered. I began practicing family law in 1982. My practice is exclusively dedicated to divorce and family legal issues. I gained significant court experience over those years working in high-asset and high-conflict cases, for moderate income families, and for less economically privileged people. I have been a "family law litigator" all of my adult life.  

But I became disillusioned with the adversarial family court system. The legal model I grew up with was a "zero sum" game where for every dollar one party won, the other lost. If dad got less custodial time, mom might get more money. If the wife got the house, there was no place for the husband to live. In too many cases I watched families become polarized and children be damaged by parental warfare. I saw that same-sex couples were excluded from the legal system, and had to script their own set of rules. This was not satisfying. I decided that I would attempt to do things differently. 

Mediation offers possibilities that extend far beyond the choices we grew up with. Our life experiences and security are vastly improved when we seek together to overcome the narrow options that conflict seems to impose upon us. There are always solutions which seem invisible while we are stuck. Ironically, it is exactly when parties decide to engage in combat to get their needs met, out of a fear they will otherwise be deprived, that it becomes most likely that their interests will be damaged. At the same time, the tension that conflict creates sometimes offers the greatest opportunity to express and protect the interests that are most deeply important for us and so chart the way out. 

These crossroads lend great transformative power to mediation. You only need to take as much transformation as you want. But however you slice it, mediation solves problems more efficiently, in more lasting ways, with better outcomes, than the alternatives are likely to achieve.

My mediation style aspires to incorporate mindfulness and understanding techniques, along with providing a legal education to my mediation participants, in order to facilitate a dialogue between couples that is respectful, sincere, and forward-thinking. One of the things that you may find useful about my websites is that each one links to every other, such that if you use the search engine at the upper right of any page on topics of interest or concern to you it is my hope that you will find what you need to know on a vast array of subjects.

I have particular interest and experience in the following types of family situations:

• Cases involving complex and simple legal issues
• Cases involving complex and simple financial and support issues
• Cases involving strong emotional components
• Cases where one or both parties is fearful
• Cases involving both opposite and same-sex couples
• Cases where there have been historical power imbalances during the relationship
• Cases where one party was an avoider, and another an accommodator, in their styles of interaction and every other permutation of personality hardwiring including individuals who are strongly competitive
• Cases where the parties are open to the possibility that mediation can help transform their lives and end a cycle that otherwise seems to keep repeating, whether in their own lives or within the generations of their families of origin

Whoever you choose to aid you as you navigate the way through these difficult times, I urge that you consider a "mindful divorce." You and your former partner are the only ones in the world to know what each of you need and how your lives should unfold - not me, not a judge, not your therapist, and not another lawyer. But if you find yourself here you probably can't get there alone. Mediators shouldn't direct your life or your decisions, but can serve as pointers to help parties reflect deeply on what each participant truly wants and needs in order to be able to move forward constructively. 

I believe that mediators who mediate effectively care enough about their practice that they continue to deepen their own expertise and vision throughout their careers. Such interest and curiosity about the circumstances of others is a key ingredient to successful mediation.

~ T.W. Arnold~

Education, Licenses and Certifications

• Certificate of Excellence, Reed College, Portland, OR (1974-1975)
• B.A. (with Honors), University of California, Santa Barbara (1976-1979)
• J.D., Lewis & Clark Law School (1979-1982)
• Editorial Staff, Lewis & Clark Environmental Law Journal
• Admitted, State Bar of California (1982)
• Admitted, Central District Court of the United States (1983)
• Loma Linda University Masters Program, Family Sciences (2009/2010)
• Certified Family Law Specialist, State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

Mediation and Collaborative Training

• Two Day Collaborative Training, LACFLA (2009)
• Five Day Basic Divorce Mediation Training, Forrest S. Mosten (2010)
• Four Day AFCC Conference, Denver, CO (2010)
• Five Day Mediation Intensive Training, Gary F. Friedman/Catherine Conner (2010)
• Two Day Advanced Conflict Resolution Training, American Institute of Mediation (2010)
• Six Day Self-Reflection in Action for Conflict Professionals, Gary Friedman/Jack Himmelstein/Norman Fischer (2011)
• Five Day Mediation Intensive Refresher, Center for Understanding in Conflict (2011)

Mediation Affiliations/Memberships and Public Service

• Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC)
• Academy of Family Mediators
• International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP)
• Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR)
• International Alliance of Holistic Lawyers (IAHL)
• American Inns of Court, Warren Slaughter Division
• Los Angeles Collaborative Law Association (LACFLA)
• National Council on Family Relations (NCFR)
• Judge Pro Tem, Riverside County Superior Court

"I am available to assist you as a mediator,
co-mediator, or collaborative law professional at ethical and affordable rates"

Contact Thurman Arnold @ DFMS! 

Serving the Desert Cities of Southern California