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Recent Posts in Why Mediate? Category

MEDIATION Is the Sane Alternative - But Only If You Value Your FAMILY And Your Money!

DFMS Is Now (Almost) 18 Months Old ! I want to compliment and honor those of you who have seen the terrible destruction and waste that is characteristic of family court litigation, and who have been ...
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LITIGATION Verses MEDIATION: ADVERSARY REALITIES Worth Considering Before Pulling the Trigger

Litigation Is The Default Strategy For Adjudicating Conflict Some people believe that mediators don't hold the American legal system or the judges who play their role within it in high regard. That ...
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Client SANCTIONED When Her Lawyer DISCLOSED INFORMATION That VIOLATED the MEDIATION PRIVILEGE

What Marriage of Davenport Means for Mediation Family law mediators and collaborative attorneys, and those attorneys who decry the shameless lack of ethics on the part of some high conflict divorce ...
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Can You Just HELP Us with a STIPULATED AGREEMENT and How Much Might It COST?

Q. My husband and I are planning a divorce. We read some of your blogs about mediation thank you for making so much information available. We have pretty much agreed how to divide our property. ...
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How Might We Work With STRONGLY FELT EMOTIONS That Surface During Mediation?

As is to be expected, people in the midst of relationship transition are experiencing a deep range of emotions that include varying levels of personal distress. For some these are manageable when ...
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GENDER DIFFERENCES and the CO-MEDIATION SOLUTION

While we wouldn't say that co-mediating your dissolution or custody matter is necessarily superior to engaging a sole mediator, we find that there are benefits to co-mediation that particularly assist ...
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Mediation Is Not Appropriate For Everyone: It is a VOLUNTARY PROCESS With Boundaries

Mediation is a difficult and beautiful dance. People arrive with deeply held and heartfelt concerns, and they will continue to hold these core values no matter what occurs. It is not for the mediator ...
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2011 AMENDMENTS to the FAMILY CODE: MEDIATION Becomes Even MORE ECONOMIC

A disaster may be looming in 2011 for some of the California family law disputants who don't realize they are free to opt out of the litigation experience by employing mediation or collaborative law ...
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BENEFITS of MEDIATION Include Receiving ALL RELEVANT INFORMATION

In the typical experience of divorce or partnership dissolution, parties may or may not make use of legal professionals. Estimates are that over 60% of people don't hire lawyers or even consult with ...
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Conflict Patterns Become HARD-WIRED. Mediation Can Help Parties to RE-WIRE.

There is a funny bit of nonfiction that has been making its rounds through internet emails. I think it illustrates a scientific basis why mediation may make sense for people who are unwinding their ...
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Preserving AUTONOMY While Supporting MUTUALITY

Is mediation the best choice for you? Will the other person in your life participate at all, or participate fairly? We can't answer those questions. We can speak to how mediation might work for you ...
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Mediator THURMAN ARNOLD III Recognized By California State Board of Specialization!

We are pleased to announce that Attorney and DFMS Mediator Thurman W. Arnold III has received notice from the California Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California that he officially ...
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Understanding CONFLICT PATTERNS and WHY TO MEDIATE

One reason why people become "stuck" is that they develop patterns of dealing with conflict, over time, with their spouses, domestic partners, employers, children, inlaws, and just about everybody ...
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DO WE NEED MEDIATION If My Spouse and I Know Exactly What We Want to Do?

Q. So I am wondering - why would we need mediation if my wife and I already know and are agreed about how to divide our stuff? I am thinking we should have a cheap divorce. A. You may not need ...
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Mediation As the First Choice for SAME-SEX Couples

We believe that mediation serves same sex couples particularly well. It doesn't matter whether you are a domestic partner or one of the 14,000 couples that married during the window that existed from ...
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How Confidential is "CONFIDENTIAL" MEDIATION?

Q. One of reasons why I am considering mediation is that that I've heard it is confidential. It is really important to me and my family that our personal matters not become public. How confidential is ...
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ABA Standards - "ENTERING MEDIATION"

The 2000 American Bar Association Model Standards for Mediation, and indeed the standards for all family law mediation, are based upon the principle of "informed consent." While once known as a ...
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American Bar Association Model Standards - CHOOSING A MEDIATOR

The American Bar Association's Model Standards (2000) define mediation and affirm its importance and core values that can help guide consumers in choosing their mediator. At DFMS we subscribe to these ...
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Why We Won't TALK ABOUT YOUR CASE When You INITIALLY CALL

The question of mediators talking to one party in the absence of the other can come up in a variety of contexts. This Blog discusses initial contacts from one party, often when they are simply seeking ...
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